I QUIT.

This all started about eight months ago. I'd spent four years working my way up the metaphorical ladder at a great company, I loved my boss, and I was finally making some decent money.

But I was bored. SO bored.

I knew I could be doing more. I KNEW I could be running my own department. It was time to start looking for a new job.

It's not like I was miserable, I was actually very content. So when the time came to leave, it would have to be for something GOOD. So I made a list:

- I have to be the boss

- I want to build my own department

- I want a say in the way the company is run

- I want to work directly with leadership

- I need to be making six figures (!)

- I need a budget and freedom to make decisions about how it will be spent

- I need a staff

I know, I know. Not exactly the most realistic expectations, but it doesn’t hurt to aim high, right?

You can imagine my surprise when I was called to interview for a job that checked off every last box on my list. And BONUS POINTS: I would get to travel to Germany to train for two weeks, with recurring trips throughout the year.

For someone who had never been to Europe, this was thrilling. I jumped at the chance to interview and was genuinely shocked when I got the job!

There were tears, doubts, celebrations, and fears but accepting this offer was a total no-brainer. And so I did.

Fast forward six months...

I knew I was doing a great job - I was kind of a rock star. The employees worshipped me (401k! More Vacation Time! Employee Appreciation Events!) and the leadership thought I was pretty awesome too (An organized HR Department! A full-fledged recruiting function! Forward thinking policies!).

Everything was going perfectly. I had exactly what I wanted and I was crushing it. But man, was I demotivated. I felt depressed and lethargic all the time and I dreaded going into work. I was sad on FRIDAYS because I knew the weekend would fly by and before I knew it, it would be Monday. Rough.

So, I did what any logical, modern career woman would do: I hired a Life Coach.

I spilled my guts in our first meeting, in hopes that she would help me to magically rediscover my drive and motivation. Instead, she asked me a question that changed my life:

"Do you think you might get fired?"

"No," I laughed. "They LOVE me. I would have to actively try to get fired."

"OK. Well, let's just pretend for a minute. What if you got fired tomorrow? How would you feel?"

Relieved.

I would feel an overwhelming sense of relief.

I was so, so unhappy and I hadn't admitted it to myself. I had never even considered the idea that the job itself was making me miserable. I honest to goodness thought there was something wrong with ME.

I had achieved exactly what I set out to do and it was utterly unfulfilling. That is really scary to admit.

I had to quit. Obviously it's not that simple, but in the interest of time, suffice it to say that I realized I needed to leave.

So I did.

I quit.

With no plan.

No new job lined up.

No idea what I would do next.

No idea what I even wanted to do next.

And it was invigorating.

So here I am. Happily unemployed. I know it sounds crazy and irresponsible, but is it, really?

A couple of weeks before I gave my notice, I was passing through the Financial District and I noticed a middle-aged woman in a business suit crossing the street. She looked like she had it all together. But she also looked sad and disconnected.

A voice in my head said "You can't become her. There is more to life than this."

And that voice was right. That is where I was headed. That was the path I was on.

To be fair, I had no idea what was actually going on in that woman's head. But, my interpretation of it shows where MY head was at.

I needed to make this change. I needed to leave.

I have to rediscover myself and find my purpose and figure out what it is that I WANT to do with my life.

Because there is more to life than slaving away at a job you hate for 40 years. There just is.

And deciding to take ownership of my fate, to discover what it is that I want out of life, and in turn, what I can contribute to the world.. well that's probably the most responsible thing I've ever done.